i don't know what to say anymore. why is that people look for this all of their life. why are they looking to get hurt. on the way to find the "right one" what if there is no right one. and the person is destined to lead a life full of heartbreak. i just can't stop thinking about the first time we met. i can't stop thinking about the first picture of us that was taken. i remember it so clearly. we were sitting on sam's living room floor. we had a blanket on. i had my arms wrapped around her and we were staring into the camera. i was giving the metal sign. oh my god and and like 18 people were cramped into a small room and we managed to sleep right next to eachother. holding her as close as possible. it was probably one of the most umcomfortable experiences of my life but probably the best moment of it. i remember when we saw the juliana theory together. why can't she just feel like she did before. i know i missed my chance but i just want another one. i can't stop thinking about every moment we spent together. we i got grounded for sleeping over your cousins house in dracut. we stayed up till like one oclock wathcing original disney movies "Miracle in Lane Two" and "Zenon the Zequel" i miss that so much. my arm hurts. i wish i didn't do that but i can't take it back the blood is still there. my broken heart is in Rachel's hands. tears still flwo from my eyes. last night i listend to "Love Me Tender" a stuffed animal that Rachel gave me plays it and i cried all night long.